A Reflection on 2020

Updated: Mar 17

"That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered, or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are."

—Paulo Coelho, the Zahir

2020 will go down in history as the year we outgrew ourselves.

Doing the housework + letting go can be painful. But carrying the burden of volatile anxiety + hardened resentment is far more exhausting. Anxiety alerts me when I no longer feel safe but often stems from a monotonous narrative that was never true in the first place. Resentment is a collection of harbouring truths that have not been expressed; ultimately, holding me captive in a self-perpetuating mental prison.

Gutting, ripping, tearing, cleaning up, + taking out the trash has been the prerequisite to this year of refinement. And the more I purge, the more I can recognize + personify my worth + purpose here on Earth.

Recognizing that something doesn't fit anymore is easier said than done—so they say—and so actually doing something about it used to be my procrastination.

We hold onto things because we are unsure of what will happen next. Will I hurt someone? Will I lose something? Will I make the wrong choice? And how painful will it all be?

Yet, carrying what isn't yours to carry will evidently foster dis-ease in the body of your being. So really, why bother? Why bother holding yourself in a cell that only impedes your freedom.

Nothing can be the wrong choice when it comes to benevolent truth.

Look at how you have outgrown yourself. 𝑪𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒓, 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆, 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒓𝒊𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒖𝒔𝒕. 𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆.


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